Growing up without your father hasn’t been easy. Discover that you can meet him might be scary. If you have the opportunity, don’t miss it. Your father may not recognize you or accept the idea that you are his child. You can search the Internet for “legal DNA testing near me” to find labs in your city to perform a paternity test. Most men get scared when a supposed son tells them he wants to do one of these tests. To prevent him from refusing, you can do one without legal validity. Like a home gender test, the lab will send the results to your email, and you can only use them as a means of information. These results are not admissible in court so if the test shows that the man is your father, no legal ties are created.

Deciding between a hug or a complaint?

It is normal to feel some resentment towards a man who never cared about you. You don’t have to call him “dad,” but you can listen to his story to find out why he never looked out for you. It’s not about hugging him or complaining to him, but rather understanding what made him decide not to be your father. Sometimes the woman never tells the man she is pregnant. Sometimes the man freaks out and makes wrong decisions. It’s about understanding what happened, and then deciding what to do. No matter what your father tells you, you have the final word. You decide if you want to give yourself a chance to know him and try to create a father-child relationship or if you prefer to leave things as they are and move on with your life.

Get the support of a psychologist

Asking for help from a psychologist is not an act of cowardice, nor does it mean that you are crazy. Meeting your father for the first time, after many years, can be a traumatic experience if you don’t have the right tools to manage your emotions. If you grew up with feelings of hatred, disappointment, or frustration towards your father, you may “explode” the moment you see him. Some psychologists can guide you on how to approach your father for the first time, what questions you can ask and what questions you should avoid, and how you should react to his behavior. He is as likely to want to hug you as he is likely to want you to leave. A psychologist has the necessary experience to guide you in the right way.